- Revenge bedtime procrastination (RBP) is when people choose to stay awake for some alone time.
- It's most common among people who are busy, stressed, or burned out from work or family.
- RBP is not a sleep disorder so practicing good sleep hygiene and reducing stress should help.
You've had a long day, it's time for bed, but instead of going to sleep you find yourself up and awake, maybe bingeing a show or scrolling through social media.
You know you should get to sleep, but you don't want to just yet. Sound familiar? This behavior actually has a name — revenge bedtime procrastination.
The idea being that when you have many responsibilities and little control over how you spend your day, you get "revenge" by staying up at night to have time for yourself — even if it's just engaging in simple, low-effort activities like viewing social media or watching television.
Of course, there's nothing inherently wrong with these activities, but when you sacrifice a good night's sleep for them, it becomes a problem for your mental and physical health.
Especially if you're using screens at night, which interfere with healthy sleep patterns, exacerbating the problem.
Is revenge bedtime procrastination a disorder?
Revenge bedtime procrastination describes a type of behavior, but it is not a recognized psychiatric or sleep disorder like insomnia.
People with insomnia want to get to sleep at an appropriate time but are just unable to, whereas bedtime revenge procrastination is an intentional choice to delay going to sleep because you do not have enough time for yourself.
"If someone engaging in revenge bedtime procrastination were to get in bed at a more reasonable hour, they probably wouldn't have any actual trouble falling and staying asleep,'' says Saba Harouni Lurie, LMFT, a therapist at Take Root Therapy.
Bedtime revenge procrastination can be grouped with other types of procrastination, because essentially what you're doing is putting off one thing for something more immediately desirable.
Case in point: For some people, staying up late scrolling on their phone or binging a show is more desirable than going to sleep, even though they're likely to feel groggy the next morning. So why do it?
"Part of what makes these behaviors feel so good is that they are not efficient uses of time," says Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, a clinical psychologist in private practice. "The autonomy to spend time in a way that folks know is not 'good for them' has a rebellious component."
Causes of revenge bedtime procrastination
According to a study from 2019, bedtime procrastination is more common in women and in students — both of whom are likely to have a lot of responsibilities with childcare and schoolwork — but it can occur in anyone who doesn't have a lot of time for themselves.
"We all want free time, and sometimes it seems that the only free time we can capture is the time we steal from ourselves that is earmarked for sleep,'' says Harouni Lurie.
You are more likely to engage in revenge bedtime procrastination if you:
- Have a high-stress job
- Have many family and parenting responsibilities
- Have burnout from work, parenting, or otherwise
- Work long hours
- Are a night owl
A study from 2014 showed a moderate correlation between general procrastination and engaging in revenge bedtime procrastination. So people who engage in bedtime revenge procrastinator may exhibit some of the common traits of procrastinators, such as:
- Perfectionism
- Impulsivity
- Low levels of conscientiousness
To be clear, not sleeping to have more me-time is different from not sleeping because you physically can't fall asleep at a reasonable hour due to an underlying medical condition like anxiety, depression, insomnia, ADHD, or a thyroid condition.
If you are concerned that a physical issue may be the reason you can't get to sleep, it would be a good idea to check in with your doctor. But if you are able to get to sleep once or twice a week without procrastinating it's most likely not a medical issue.
How to stop your revenge bedtime procrastination
The best way to overcome revenge bedtime procrastination is to stop procrastinating in bed. Easier said than done, right? Well, here are some tried-and-true tips to clean up your bedtime act and get better sleep:
- Limit alcohol to occasional consumption and avoid drinking less than three hours before bed. Or better yet, avoid it entirely before bed and instead try some tasty non-alcoholic alternatives.
- Stop drinking caffeine by the afternoon. The body takes about ten hours to completely clear caffeine from your system, so consuming it late in the day can affect your night time sleep.
- Develop a bedtime routine. Find something relaxing that helps you slow down a bit an hour or two before bed. This could be things like a short walk, a hot shower, or some quiet music.
- Create a sleep oasis. Start dimming the lights and reducing the temperature in your home before bedtime (the ideal temperature for sleep is between 60 °F - 67 °F). This will help your body produce melatonin, a hormone that helps you sleep.
- Avoid using screens in bed, the most common way people procrastinate at bedtime.
Admittedly, these tips may not be enough to overcome your bedtime revenge procrastination since the underlying cause of not having enough time and autonomy for yourself will still be present.
If this is the case, consider evaluating your priorities. First, determine what you want more time for in the day whether it's family, hobbies, or something else. Then, take a detailed look at the tasks that are consuming most of your time and see if there's a way to reorganize or redistribute them to open up time for what you want.
"You may still engage in revenge bedtime procrastination from time to time, but if your needs are being met during the day then you may not have the same drive to stay up at night," says Harouni Lurie.
If you've taken these steps and still find yourself struggling with bedtime procrastination after a few weeks, it might be a good idea to seek out a therapist to help you understand and work on any underlying issues causing it.
Insider's takeaway
Revenge bedtime procrastination is a way to have time for yourself when your daytime life doesn't allow it.
However, this habit can leave you constantly sleep deprived, which has mental and physical drawbacks.
The best way to stop revenge bedtime procrastination is by having good sleep hygiene and by doing your best to find time for yourself during the day.