- Vanessa Lachey says she worried about what having a baby girl would be like due to past trauma.
- The mother of three told People in an interview she was "terrified" while pregnant for the first time.
- Vanessa and Nick Lachey, who married in July 2011, had their first child in 2012.
Vanessa Lachey opened up about the emotional process of coming into motherhood with her first child nine years ago. The 41-year-old actress told People in a recent interview that she struggled with "irrational" thoughts when it came to having children with her husband, Nick Lachey.
"Nick and I got married in July 2011 and I got pregnant that December," she told People. "I was like, 'If this is a little girl, and it's everything he's ever wanted, what if he loves her more than me?'"
The pair met on the set of "Total Request Live" and began dating in 2006, before getting married in 2011.
"Before we were married, we had very deep conversations about everything in life — about our past, about our present situations, and about our future and what we wanted," Vanessa said. "It was really important for me to explain to him where I came from."
Vanessa says having a mother "who visited a handful of times but then disappeared" when she was a child caused her to worry about her own parenting.
"I said [to Nick], 'If the first one is a girl, I'm going to be terrified,' she said. The Lacheys first child, Camden, 9, turned out to be a boy. Vanessa says that was the "blessing" she needed, because by the time they had a daughter she felt ready.
Although Vanessa felt "accepted" by her husband, it's her past trauma that caused doubts for her.
"Nine years ago, I was terrified that I would mess her up, so to speak — that I would fall into these patterns subconsciously," Vanessa said. "What I realized nine years later, having a boy and a girl and a boy, is that you don't have to fall into those patterns. And I didn't."
Now the married couple have three children: Camden, 9, Phoenix, 4, and Brooklyn, 6.
Vanessa is currently costarring on "NCIS: Hawaii," and together the Lachey couple cohost Netflix's "Love is Blind" reality series. Vanessa's book "Life from Scratch: Family Traditions That Start with You" is out now.