Van-life couples share what the lifestyle is really like and how it can make or break a relationship

• From zero bathroom privacy to nonstop driving, living in a van with a partner has unique challenges.
• For some couples, a van brought them closer. For others, it ended their relationship.
• Nine people living in vans share what it's like being in a relationship in tight quarters.
• Visit Insider's homepage for more stories.

Two weeks in a 60-square-foot van was the end of Lisa Jacobs' five-year relationship.

She refers to her last fight with her then-boyfriend as the Battle of Santa Fe. After spending months renovating a van, Jacobs and her ex no longer had a project to distract them. That, piled on top of the financial strain of an unequal renovation budget, two pit bulls, and tight quarters amounted to a fight that ended their relationship.

"It just fell apart," Jacobs, 35, told Insider. "It was too much to handle."

Living in a van with a partner creates a unique set of circumstances for any relationship. Often, couples are together 24/7 in less than 100 square feet of space, plus there are added stressors of constantly driving, hunting for places to sleep, and a lack of privacy.

Sometimes living in a van strengthens a relationship. Other times, it ends them.

In a van, even small things are a big deal

In a van, every little thing is magnified, according to Emily King, who told Insider she spent more than seven years living with her now ex-boyfriend in an 80-square-foot van.

Trash might be in the middle of the living room, dirty laundry quickly piles up, and a stray, uncleaned coffee mug becomes a major annoyance.

"A simple thing like going to the bathroom became this massive ordeal," King, 37, said of her time living in a van.

Sydney Ferbrache said that living in a van quickened the course of her first relationship. There was no space to cool off after a fight, and, like King, the bathroom situation was a challenge.

"I'm watching him pee every day. I'm watching him poop every day," Ferbrache, 26, told Insider. "It took a little bit of the sexiness out of the relationship for sure."

The couple broke up after eight months.

About three years later, Ferbrache is still traveling in a van and dating her current boyfriend, Henry Friedman, who also owns a van. This time, she said there are no plans to move in together, and when they travel together it's in their respective vans.

"Even as we grow closer and our relationship feels incredible, it feels like the healthiest way for us to maintain that feeling," she said.

It's not all an adventure

A van comes with new responsibilities. Couples worry about emptying gray-water tanks, fitting a week's worth of groceries in a tiny fridge, and finding safe places to sleep.

Nick and Raychel Reimer-Hurley told Insider that designating those tasks naturally fell into place in their 98-square-foot converted ambulance.

Raychel, 27, isn't as comfortable driving a large vehicle, so Nick, 27, takes on the driver role. Meanwhile, Raychel is focused on growing the couple's social-media following; the two make YouTube videos about their lifestyle, and have 9,600 subscribers at the time of writing.

Raya Encheva, 28, and Louis Cole, 38, told Insider that living in a van requires constant work and more communication than being in a house or apartment. The engaged couple moved into a bus in March and recently spent two months traveling by van across Europe.

"You're definitely a bit more in survival mode," Cole said.

The couple now considers mechanical breakdowns, charging their van's batteries, and whether a parking spot will get enough sun for their solar panels.

Parking is also one of the biggest strains on Lidia Rico and Philip Miller's relationship. They've spent the last seven years searching for safe places to park their converted ambulance.

To save money, the married couple told Insider they avoid paid campgrounds. But this creates stress, they said, since there's a constant fear a cop might knock on their window and ask them to relocate.

The tasks are manageable, the couples agreed, but compromise and communication are at the forefront of surviving van life as a couple.

And not everyone wants an adventure all the time

When Raychel started van life with her now-husband, Nick, she said her main concern was balancing each other's needs for relaxing and action-filled days.

In an apartment, if Raychel wanted a lazy afternoon, she could have it while Nick went on an adventure. In a van, that's nearly impossible.

If someone wants to go grocery shopping or drive somewhere for a hike, your home - and you - go with your partner.

While Raychel and Nick make it work, a differing desire to travel was a key reason why King said she and her ex separated.

King said her ex was focused on getting to the next mountain-biking trail or surf destination, while there were times when she wanted to slow down.

King said she realized she was compromising too much, and the couple decided to split. Through the process, she said she learned how "important it is to honor her individual needs while traveling in a van."

Breakups aren't stopping some from giving van relationships another shot

King said van life destroyed her relationship, but she's not letting her past stop her from giving a nomadic relationship another chance. She's now renovating a bus with her current partner.

This time, though, she said she's doing a few things differently. King said she'll have nearly 50 more square feet of living space, and that she and her partner plan to travel slower - especially when their baby comes.

Jacobs also said her first van breakup isn't holding her back from pursuing relationships on the road. The only difference is now she said she discusses the potential of a split earlier on.

All nine travelers agreed that living in a van with a partner is the ultimate relationship test. For many, it's brought them closer together.

Now more than ever, Encheva and Cole said they refer to themselves as a team.

"It makes me feel more prepared to have a baby together and do life together now that we've experienced this," Encheva said.