- Annie Korzen and her husband, Benni Korzen, have been married for 60 years.
- Annie Korzen said they eat different dinners, because eating the same food feels like a "sacrifice."
- This fits a trend of people rejecting marriage norms, from what they eat to non-monogamy.
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Annie Korzen, an 85-year-old actor, writer, and social media influencer based in LA, and the author of "The Book of Annie." The interview has been edited for length and clarity.
My husband and I come from two really different cultures. I grew up in New York's Jewish urban culture, while Benni is from Denmark.
We met in February 1964 on a blind date and we got married that April. I always say I married a stranger and we're still getting to know each other 60 years later. Marriage is something you learn how to do, and every marriage includes some kind of compromise.
Benni is a film producer and artist, and I'm an actor and accidental influencer. I get stopped in the street all the time, which is fun for me because I'm an attention whore, and having a platform has led to a book deal.
My followers on TikTok are really interested in what Benni and I have for dinner because we eat different foods, which I guess is unusual.
When we first got married, we tried eating the same meals. But we realized that one of us was always frustrated and eating food that they really didn't want.
My favorite food is Italian and I also love Chinese, Thai, Indian, and Vietnamese. I like anything that combines sweet and sour flavors, and delicate and interesting spices.
Benni eats what I consider very bland foods, from Danish cuisine. His favorite dinner is bread, cheese, sausage, herring, and liver pate. For me, I might have that for breakfast with coffee.
We sometimes eat the same foods to avoid waste
I have learned to eat a lot of Danish specialties which Americans think are very odd — such as fried eel or smoked cod liver — and Danish food isn't unfamiliar to me. It's very similar to the kind of Russian Jewish immigrant food that I grew up with in the Bronx.
But I kind of grew out of that. I enjoy it once in a while, but not as a steady diet the way Benni does, especially because a lot of it is cold and I need a hot meal at night.
We do eat each other's food occasionally, but when we do, it's a slight sacrifice. We do it as part of our partnership or for practical reasons, like reducing food waste. It's not very practical to eat different food every night, and I don't like wasting food, for financial and ecological reasons.
It's kept us healthy and happy
I would say my diet is healthier because Benni eats more meat. And he eats cheese all the time, much more than he should.
But we try to eat a healthy diet. We never eat without a salad or some vegetable dish, and our snacks and dessert are always fruit.
I wouldn't say eating different dinners is a big issue of conflict in our marriage. It's just something we've learned to do to make us both happy. Marriage is about compromise, and this is better than always being forced to have to have somebody else's food.
You don't want to marry a clone, or a carbon copy of yourself, that would be creepy. Benni and I are different in a lot of ways, not just food. He's a morning person, I'm a night person. I'm very sensitive to temperature, but he isn't.
It's been challenging being married to a Dane, but I'm also very glad. I don't see anything wrong with being different. It allowed him to see the writer in me when I didn't see it in myself, and we learn from each other.