- My parents had a strong work ethic and tried to engineer part-time jobs for me as a teen.
- They once sprung a job interview on me they'd arranged without telling me.
- It's hard not to fall into the same trap, and I shouldn't have interfered in my kid's job search.
When I was 15, my mom announced at the breakfast table that I had a job interview that morning.
She said there was no getting out of it because it was all arranged. Dad would drive me to the new bakery that her friend's son was about to open in our hometown in northern England.
Two hours later, I sat opposite the manager as she read aloud parts of the application my mom had forged without my knowledge.
"You wrote that math is one of your best subjects," the woman said, noting that the position was for a part-time counter person at the bakery.
I was abysmal at math. Sure enough, when the manager asked me to solve a simple equation to test my mental arithmetic, I got the answer spectacularly wrong.
Next, the woman showed me the personal note my mom had mailed with my application, addressed to the business owner and introducing herself as his mother's friend. "Congratulations, John," she wrote. "Wishing you all the best with your new business venture."
Hired after showing initiative myself, I felt proud
I cringed, barely believing Mom had tried to pull so many strings to get me the job. The manager had my number, and I didn't get hired.
When I got home, I argued with my parents. "We were just trying to help," my dad said. "Don't ever do that again," I yelled.
They had good intentions, but it was an example of helicopter parenting at its worse. They wanted to instill a work ethic in me, but it backfired.
A few months later, I secured a part-time job by randomly asking for shifts at a local café. The owner said he admired my initiative, which boosted my bank account and self-esteem.
I later found part-time work as a dishwasher at a restaurant, a sales assistant in a menswear store, and a bartender. Toward the end of college, I was a breakfast waitress at a hotel, starting at 6. am.
You'd have thought the humiliating experience at the bakery would have taught me a lesson forever. But now, as the mom of a 16-year-old girl, it's difficult not to copy my parents.
I want her to succeed in life and earn her own money. I'd also like her to interact with adults and experience what it's like to work for the older generation.
At her request, I posted online messages on neighborhood groups saying my daughter was looking for babysitting jobs. There was a good response, and I passed her number to the parents who inquired.
I tried to get my teenage daughter a job, too
Then, I had a meal at a local restaurant with my husband. I read a sign that said it was closing for a few months before opening under new management.
I went to speak to the manager. "Are the new owners hiring more staff?" I asked. "My daughter's looking for a part-time job in the evening, particularly on weekends."
The guy looked appalled. "Don't do this," he said, shaking his head. I was taken aback. "But I'm just trying to help her," I said. "You're doing her no favors at all," he replied.
It stung at the time. As a mother, I felt ashamed and chastened, but he was 100% right.
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