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- Lil Nas X admitted he was jealous when Billie Eilish won record of the year at the 2020 Grammys.
- Although upon reflection, he said he realized he "doesn't have any reason to be jealous."
- Eilish won the award for "Bad Guy," beating out Lil Nas X's hit track "Old Town Road."
- Visit Insider's homepage for more stories.
Lil Nas X admitted he was jealous of Billie Eilish when she won record of the year at the 62nd annual Grammys.
In an interview with British GQ published on Monday, the "Montero (Call Me By Your Name)" rapper opened up about his negative feelings toward the "Your Power" singer after his historic No. 1 song "Old Town Road" lost to her record-breaking hit "Bad Guy" for record of the year, one of the biggest awards a song can win.
"Damn, but how? I have the biggest song. That isn't fair," the rapper recalled thinking when Eilish took the stage to grab her Grammy at the show held on January 26, 2020.
"I put all that energy I was feeling onto her," he said, adding, "It became jealousy that wasn't warranted."
Months later in quarantine, the artist said he spent time reflecting on the loss, along with all the blessings in his life.
"You have the longest-running number-one song, why the f--- are you jealous about this award?" he asked himself. "We are already so blessed. Even if you don't have these things, you're here. You're still alive. You exist. You shouldn't have any reason to be jealous."
"Old Town Road" currently holds the record for being the longest-running No. 1 song in history, having lasted atop the chart for an unprecedented 19 weeks. However, its extraordinary run ended the week of August 24, 2019 when "Bad Guy" overtook the top spot after spending nine weeks at No. 2.
Nas told Insider last year that he expected to win a Grammy Award for his diamond-certified single. That night, he took home two awards: one for best music video and the other for best pop duo/group performance.
Meanwhile, Eilish swept the four major categories: best new artist, song and record of the year (both for "Bad Guy"), and album of the year (for "When We All Go to Sleep, Where Do We Go?") - becoming the second person to ever accomplish that feat.
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Lil Nas X also explained how he's been working on "killing off" jealousy, blocking out negativity, and building on his personal growth in quarantine.
Through his new hobby of reading what he calls "self-discovery" books (like "The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho and "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F---" by Mark Manson), he said he's been learning how to focus his energy on what's truly important to him in life.
"It teaches you to block out the things in your life that you don't really care about," he said. "Like, if I read a negative comment or whatever, I get to decide, is this important to me? Is this true? Is this not true? If it is true, then how do we make it untrue? If it isn't true, then why the f--- do we care?"
And as for building his own confidence, the 22-year-old said, "I've been rebuilding my self-confidence to a whole new level. I'm learning more and being more attuned to the universe."