- At 95 years old, I've been on 108 cruises, and I've witnessed some pretty wild things on the ships.
- My wife and I once found a naked couple in our room, and a politician saved my life.
- One ship almost got stuck in ice, and other times helicopters needed to be sent in for emergencies.
After my time on boats in the Army, I swore I'd never take a cruise. Now I've boarded 108 ships, and most of the experiences were good.
But a few memorable exceptions stand out.
Here are some of the wildest things I've experienced on a cruise ship:
A politician saved my life in a Viking Sky dining room
The scariest moment of any cruise was on the then-brand-new Viking Sky, sailing out of New York on October 29, 2018 — just one day after my 92nd birthday.
My wife, Donna, and I were at the buffet stuffing ourselves with delicious goodies, speaking with people from Arizona at a table nearby. All of a sudden, I tried to swallow a piece of roast beef and couldn't.
It was stuck. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't speak to tell anyone I was in trouble.
My Arizona neighbor immediately jumped up and grabbed me from behind to try to perform the Heimlich. He tried once, twice, three times, and four with no results.
On the fifth, we both fell over. But he picked me right up, gave me a really painful hug, and out came the culprit, letting me breathe again.
Unsure of how to thank the stranger, I emailed an account of the incident to his local paper. Two days later, he came over to our table.
I was worried that maybe the newspaper article caused him a problem, but he laughed and said he was running for a state-senate seat and that kind of publicity was worth 100 ads.
We once found a naked couple in our room
When Donna and I boarded Norwegian Cruise Line's Sun in Port Canaveral, we found our cabin, dropped off our carry-ons, and went to relax on the rest of the ship.
When we returned, I put the key in, opened the door, and promptly pushed Donna back into the hall.
She wasn't happy about it until I said, "Call security, and tell them there's a naked couple in our cabin!"
Before security arrived, the now fully clothed couple stepped out of the cabin and began simultaneously explaining why they were there. Turns out, a cabin steward helped them into the room — which they were convinced was theirs — after their key card didn't work.
The couple seemed embarrassed and contrite when they discovered that their actual cabin was down the hall.
We later had several meetings with the ship's officers, mostly to convince them not to fire the poor worried steward. Luckily he stayed on, and we got a special dinner in the Chop House.
But even though they changed the sheets, I have an unforgettable photograph seared in my memory.
I've seen helicopters impressively swoop in on moving ships for medical emergencies
The Costa Line Daphne was a smaller, older ship that seemed perfectly fit for the Alaskan Inside Passage trip we took in June 1984.
Sundown was late, probably 11 p.m. or so, and one night the speaker came on requesting everyone to leave the pool deck for a medical emergency.
The chief steward had a heart attack, and the Coast Guard was going to hoist him aboard a helicopter and fly him to Anchorage for treatment. We were able to watch everything from our deck and see the chopper fly safely away — the Daphne never even slowed or hesitated.
The very next day, the scene was repeated when a passenger fell ill and required medical help. Same procedure, same efficiency, and no loss of time for the ship.
Later information reported that the steward did not survive. The passenger did.
Although it was very sad, I thought it was a remarkable performance by both land and sea forces. It was also reassuring to see that, even on board, help is often available.
On the way to Russia, our ship almost got entirely stuck in ice
The Titanic's sinking was brought vividly to mind on a Holland America Zaandam cruise we took in 2012.
On April 25, 2012, we woke up to total silence. On a ship, there are always sounds of engines and activity, but that morning there was no background noise.
We were practically stopped — our cabin TV said we were moving at 1 ½ knots (less than 2 miles per hour).
When I got up, I looked out and all I could see was ice. We sat, virtually immobile, in its midst.
Word began to circulate, from some unknown source, that this was almost exactly 100 years after the Titanic sank in an ice-related collision between April 14 and 15, 1912.
For some hours we lined the rails, watching the ice field, waiting for something to happen. Eventually, much to our relief, the captain reversed course, sailed back the way we came, and rerouted.
My bank account was mysteriously closed, which nearly left us stranded
Our worst experience came on our way home from a cruise on Thanksgiving in 2005.
We'd just disembarked the Holland America Prinsendam after a trans-Atlantic crossing from Lisbon, Portugal.
I couldn't call the rental-car company to get a ride home because my phone was dead, so we took a taxi. On the way, I took out my wallet to get my credit card and driver's license along with the cab fare.
When we got to the dealership, I was told my credit card was denied. I reached for my wallet, but it wasn't there — I must have left it in the cab.
I didn't have a coin for the payphone (I still had only foreign currency), but I found a compassionate bathroom attendant to lend me one.
Unfortunately, the bank only told me that my account had been closed. But the agent was able to authorize the rental-car charge, and we made the three-hour trip home, where our family was waiting with Thanksgiving dinner.
As we drove in, everyone rushed out. They'd been receiving calls about my card and wallet all morning from the bank and a Mr. Moses in New York.
Trying to return calls on Thanksgiving Day wasn't very rewarding, so we started opening our two-week-old mail. A recent letter from the bank addressed to Donna stated, "We are saddened by the recent death of your husband, Robert L. Willett, and send our deepest condolences."
So that was the cause of all the confusion — I was dead.
It also reminded Donna that there was a balance of $175 on the card, and they were certain, in the midst of her grief, she'd want that taken care of.
It took a few days to convince everybody I was alive and well, during which the missing wallet was returned from New York by the honorable Mr. Moses.
But I enjoyed the affection and respect usually held for those who had passed, it was kind of fun.