- I've always felt like I get overwhelmed easily and have been told I'm too sensitive.
- A few months ago, my therapist suggested I might be a highly sensitive person, or an HSP.
- It changed the way I see myself, and now, I see my emotions as a superpower.
"You're too sensitive."
"Toughen up."
For as long as I can remember, I've heard comments like these. I remember crying over the sound of Josh Groban's voice when I was 16 and intentionally steering clear of social gatherings where I might have felt out of my element, even for a second. I didn't understand why I was so prone to being emotional at the drop of a hat, or why I was so averse to situations that other people my age seemed to seek out. In fact, I wouldn't get those answers for some time.
Then, a few months ago, I was talking with my therapist about my heightened emotions and sensitivities, and she told me that I'm probably a highly sensitive person, or an HSP. I'd never heard of this term before, but off the bat, it sounded like a perfect description of who I am.
What does it mean to be a highly sensitive person?
"A highly sensitive person possesses an acute awareness of social stimuli, such as the tone of other people's voices and their facial expressions. They tend to be exceptionally empathetic but can also be easily overwhelmed," Kristin Gill, a psychiatrist and the chief medical officer at Minded, an online-psychiatry company designed for women, said.
Gill told Insider that in addition to being incredibly empathetic, HSPs can also have high emotional reactivity and a low tolerance for sensory stimuli, including loud noises and bright lights. Other distinctive qualities include being highly sensitive to subtle changes in their environments and having stronger emotional responses — both positive and negative.
She added that while being a highly sensitive person isn't a clinical diagnosis, identifying with the label may provide relief if it validates a person's lived experiences. This resonates with me. When I learned about HSPs, I finally felt seen.
I finally felt validated when I learned about HSPs
For the first time, I didn't feel that something was wrong with me or that I was crazy. Not only did I finally have a reason for why I was so sensitive, but I also learned that there were others like me out there who engaged with the world in a different way.
Not only did I feel validated, but I also started to see how, in many cases, it can be a superpower. There's so much about the world and the people who live in it that is complex, and HSPs have the ability to really dig in and see life for what it is, which isn't something everyone is able to do.
What it's like being a highly sensitive person
From my experience, I think being a highly sensitive person has its positives and negatives. In my daily life, nature, the arts, and interactions with other people constantly leave me in awe. In fact, I'm often brought to the point of tears by things others might see as mundane. In most cases, these are tears of joy and gratitude — including being so touched by seeing a mother and son hold hands or watching a teenager carry groceries for an elderly person in the neighborhood. I love being able to see the beauty in things that other people may overlook.
On the other end of the spectrum, it can get exhausting having this more-sensitive worldview. Sometimes, I get very tired, drained, and overstimulated to the point where I have to completely isolate myself. When this happens, like it does when I get home from a family gathering, I immediately go into my room, completely shut the blinds, and sit in total darkness — no sounds, no electronics, and no light.
I lay on my bed as if I were going to sleep and just absorb the sweet sound of nothing. It may sound weird to someone who isn't highly sensitive, but I actually have to do this to get myself back to my baseline so I can continue to properly function for the rest of the day. The same routine is necessary after a concert or a day at Disney World where loud noises, lots of people, and other kinds of stimulation have surrounded me all day.
I wasn't always a fan of being what I now know is a highly sensitive person because for the longest time it felt isolating and exhausting. However, now that I'm in my early 20s, I have come to appreciate my heightened sensitivity and my identity as an HSP.
I love how I process the world and my thoughts in a more complex way; it allows me to have more fulfilling experiences and relationships. That's not to say it doesn't get hard and even exhausting at times, because it does, but for the most part, I think it's beautiful that I can engage with myself and others in this way.