- Crystal Boivin is raising her four biological kids and her sister's five children.
- She's a family placement who receives little support from the state.
- This is Boivin's story, as told to Kelly Burch.
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Crystal Boivin. It has been edited for length and clarity.
Nearly three years ago, my sister called me teary and angry. I needed to take her children or they would go into state custody, she said.
I was already a single mom raising four children, but I didn't hesitate. I was there within minutes to pick up my five nieces and nephews.
I had always been making sure my sister's kids had what they needed as she struggled with addiction. Bills, birthdays, and back-to-school, I made sure they were taken care of, along with my dad, who has been instrumental in helping me.
But that day when I picked them up, they truly became my children. I pushed aside my own hopes and dreams for a new mission in life: making sure none of my nine children had a childhood they'd need to recover from as adults.
I make $12.49 an hour working in special education
I never want any of my kids to feel that they are a burden. They're not; they're the loves of my life. But because of the lack of support from their biological parents or the state, our situation is hard.
My kids are 17, 14, 14, 13, 10, 7, 7, 5, and 3. The 10 of us live in a three-bedroom trailer that's in desperate need of repair. I make $12.49 working as a paraeducator. It's not my dream job, but it's one of the few I can take to be there for the kids in the evenings and on weekends.
South Carolina, where I live, pays foster parents a minimum of about $600 a month. If my nieces and nephews had been placed with a stranger, the state would have handed out nearly $110,000 in subsidies over three years. But because I'm their family member, I get nothing.
Kinship care is in the shadows
Kinship care is when children who can't live with their biological parents are placed with other family members. Research suggests that kids placed with kin fare better than kids placed with strangers. But kinship caregivers often fall through the cracks, missing out on the support that foster families have. It feels like we exist in the shadows.
I'm lucky to have some assistance. I get about $1,400 in food stamps and $300 in Temporary Assistance for Needy Families benefits for the children each month. But when you're feeding nine children, clothing them, and paying for daycare and school activities, that doesn't go far.
I had to fight with the state to keep all my children. The state said that our house was too small and that I didn't have enough bedrooms for nine children. But I know my sons would rather sleep on a couch with their family than on a bed in a stranger's house. And If I had access to the same financial resources that foster parents are given, I could afford a home with more bedrooms. Instead, I had to turn to GoFundMe to crowdsource money for repairs.
My kids are thriving, but we should have access to more support
The state talks about the importance of keeping kids with family but doesn't support family members who step up. I'm not asking for money to get my nails done — I'm asking for resources to provide for children in need.
Although things are tough, my children are thriving. They have a loving, safe environment to live in. They have boundaries, routines, and education. They have a foundation on which they can build a healthy life with good choices and reach their full potential.