- I have six kids ranging from 4 months to 18 years old.
- Going through birthday photos with my oldest, I realized she didn't remember most of her parties.
- Now I only throw a party for the first year, and then plan special family outings for other years.
As a mom, making birthdays special feels monumental. You want your children to feel loved and celebrated, and it's natural to want to create lasting memories.
However, I also know that you don't have to spend tons of money and stress about it for it to be a perfect celebration. In fact, my kids don't remember most of their birthday parties. Here's how we changed the way we celebrate birthdays in my family of eight.
My oldest didn't remember her birthday parties
My oldest child — out of six — is now 18, and a few years ago, we were reminiscing over some of her birthday party pictures that popped up on social media. One was from a glow-in-the-dark bowling party. We had planned for weeks, gone all out with decorations, and spent a small fortune on food. We worked hard to create a fun day for everyone who came to celebrate. But when I looked at her, I realized she didn't even remember it.
In fact, she had almost no recollection of her birthday parties at all. Sure, she remembered they happened, but she couldn't tell me who attended, what gifts she received, or even what they did.
It felt like a punch to the gut. I had worked tirelessly to create a magical experience, hoping she would feel cherished. Instead, I realized I had exhausted myself planning these elaborate events that she wouldn't recall later. It made me question the entire birthday party culture. Why do we go to such lengths for celebrations if the very person they're for doesn't remember them? Is all that work really worth it?
I only throw a party for the 1st birthday
We decided to simplify our approach. We now stick to a single birthday celebration for each child when they turn 1, inviting just close friends and family.
This first birthday isn't just for the child; it's a milestone for us as parents who have survived that challenging first year. The first year can be incredibly tough — the sleepless nights, teething troubles, and rapid changes make that birthday feel like crossing the finish line of a marathon. Why not celebrate that accomplishment as a family?
Even if they don't remember the details, it's a special day we can all reflect on together. In the years that followed, we adopted a different approach that no longer involves the massive undertaking of birthday parties. Birthdays are still significant, and I make a big deal out of them. Each child gets their own special day, which is particularly important in a large family. This approach allows us to celebrate while saving time, money, and a few gray hairs.
Kids get to choose an activity for their birthday
Instead of throwing elaborate parties, we've opted for simple family outings. Whether it's a trip to the zoo, a baseball game, or a concert, these experiences create lasting memories. Imagine seeing your music-loving child light up at their first concert or watching your animal-adoring kid soak in the sights and sounds of the zoo — truly unforgettable.
Since shifting our approach, we have provided our kids with events they genuinely enjoy and remember rather than another party likely to fade from memory.
We're fully present with them, soaking in the experience instead of running ourselves ragged. And our kids don't even miss the parties. They appreciate the quality time spent together, which has become what matters most.
With the current cost-of-living crisis hitting families hard, many are facing tough choices about where to spend their money. I know that there's a way to make birthdays memorable without incurring debt or feeling overwhelmed.
In the end, it's all about celebrating your child authentically while keeping the joy of their special day at the forefront. By embracing simplicity and focusing on experiences, we've found a way to celebrate that brings us closer as a family.