- I'm a writer and a professor, but I won't require my son to go to college.
- College isn't for everyone and is costly — even if some careers don't require degrees.
- I'll support my son on any path he chooses to take.
My son is only 9, but as my husband and I put money into his 529 college savings account, I wonder if he'll go to college and whether I'll push for it.
When I graduated from high school in the mid-90s, college was something everyone did — whether or not you had your future career path decided. We were told it was the only path to a well-paying career.
But today, as a college professor and writer, I know that's not necessarily true. I also know firsthand that college isn't for everyone, and that may include my own son.
College isn't for everyone
I've been a lifelong bookworm who loves reading and studying. School comes naturally to me, which is why I became a college professor.
But my son Parker hates school. He refers to it as "jail" and has a weekly Sunday-night tantrum while dreading returning to "prison" on Monday morning.
Having ADHD is one piece of this. Parker's a creative type who loves storytelling through writing and art. He can spend hours creating video games. He's also an intensely curious person who asks deep questions, enjoys doing science experiments, and has been putting together complicated Lego sets since the age of 3.
Yet he's highly resistant to traditional education. My son's ADHD means he has a tough time focusing on things he's not interested in, even as it grants him the superpower to hyper-focus on things he loves.
Thus, if you asked him to write an essay on tomatoes, it would be a hard pass. But ask him to write a story about superheroes, and he's all in.
Although college offers some flexibility in choosing courses, I worry it will still feel too confining for him. That's not to say students with ADHD can't be successful in college. Several of my top students have ADHD, and my sister, who was diagnosed with ADD in second grade, now has a master's degree.
But I don't believe Parker should have to go to college if he hates it.
College is especially not for students who don't know what they want to do
Recently, I overheard a student talking to my colleague. The student was complaining about how much she hated college and didn't want to be there.
In an attempt to understand the student's motivational issues, my colleague asked, "So, what made you choose to go to college?" The student answered with a line that seemed ripped from the parenting playbook: "Well, you have to go to college to get a well-paying career, right?"
While it's statistically true that those with college degrees tend to make more than those without, statistics don't tell the whole story. The trouble was this student had no idea what career she wanted, so she couldn't have known whether college mattered for her.
I don't fully subscribe to the idea that we should only educate students for their desired careers. College is about more than that, including teaching valuable critical thinking skills that help us be better employees, citizens, and people.
But we also can't ignore that college tuition has risen exponentially faster than wages; thus, college must pay off. That's especially necessary when many of us, myself included, have to borrow money from a broken student loan system to get our education.
Thus, college shouldn't be a default option. Going just because it's expected could land students in significant debt without a clear career path for managing it.
Plus, not every career requires a college degree
On the other hand, there are well-paying careers that don't require degrees. My husband, who didn't finish college for financial reasons, now does just fine in the tech industry.
My job as a college professor required a Ph.D., but I also make a living as a writer. No editor has ever asked to see my wall of diplomas. Some years, I've made more money writing than teaching — and that's while writing part-time.
Beyond the degree, college can provide valuable networking opportunities. But that doesn't mean it's necessary for everyone. Parker can network at writer's conferences if he decides to follow in his mom's footsteps and become a writer.
He's already on the way to a writing career; a picture book we cowrote will be released in May 2025.
Of course, if one's chosen career field requires a degree, going to college is worth it. But if it doesn't, there's not much reason to take on years of struggling through the "slog" or the debt.
As a mom, I hope my son will follow his dreams. As a college professor, I know a degree doesn't have to be a part of that.