- My 93-year-old mom lives over 3,000 miles from me across the Atlantic.
- Mother's Day is hard because I don't get to celebrate with her.
- I envy families who are together on Mother's Day and can make their moms feel special in person.
In the run-up to Mother's Day this year, my inbox has been flooded with holiday specials. They're mostly from restaurants, florists, candle stores — and medispas offering discount Botox.
Every time I receive a new email with Mother's Day in the subject line, I can't help but feel sad.
Some companies have given people the option to unsubscribe from the content in case, like me, they're triggered by it. But there is so much other spam you can't filter out that it makes little difference.
My mom lives in northern England, 3,300 miles from my home in New York. I moved to the US from my native UK nearly two decades ago. I never get to celebrate Mother's Day with her anymore.
I don't want to go for Mother's Day lunch
She's 93 and can't visit me due to her health and the cost of travel insurance. I can't fly to meet her because airplane tickets to the UK are expensive. We can only splash out once a year for Mom's birthday in late summer.
As a result, I prefer to ignore Mother's Day altogether — even if it means telling my kids and their dad not to buy me gifts or a greeting card.
My husband suggested we go out for Mother's Day brunch a few years ago. "Everybody does it," he said. I declined. I would only get upset if we were surrounded by families toasting their moms as she sat beaming at the table.
I can't even escape it at home. Our wonderful next-door neighbors have a big grill-out every year to honor their beloved matriarch. They have a huge family, and a dozen cars will park outside on the street,
Relatives from multiple generations mingle in the backyard. The squeals of young children's carry over the fence as they play. I wish my kids could enjoy the same tradition with my mom.
Kind strangers unwittingly conjur the same kind of emotions. People I don't know often say "Happy Mother's Day" as they walk by or serve me in a store. I smile, but my heart aches.
My mom would think I being ridiculous about the holiday
As for my mother-in-law, 94, she lives 2,400 miles away in Portland, Oregon. My somewhat cynical husband isn't bothered about them getting together. He said his mom and he have agreed that Mother's Day is a "Hallmark holiday" that boosts the profits of jewelers and manufacturers of face cream.
If Mom were reading this, she'd tell me — with a typical British stiff upper lip — not to be silly. She'd say she was thrilled to receive the card I sent her from across the pond and the delivery of a plant from her local nursery.
I'm luckier than others who no longer have their mom in their lives, whether she's passed away or they are estranged. But I can't hide my feelings.
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