- Minreet Kaur, 43, always vacationed with her parents except for a honeymoon during a brief marriage.
- Kaur felt guilt about leaving her parents if she traveled with others.
- This summer, she finally decided to travel solo — and has another overseas trip planned soon.
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Minreet Kaur. It has been edited for length and clarity.
Whizzing around in a tuk-tuk in the Sri Lankan city of Kandy, I felt exhilarated as the rickety vehicle weaved in and out of the traffic.
It was just as thrilling as the ride I'd taken along bumpy roads with a busload of locals between the island's capital and a gorgeous beach.
The sense of freedom and independence was overwhelming. At 43, I finally found the courage to travel alone.
Until July this year, I'd only been away with family members, usually my mom. The one time she didn't join me was the honeymoon I spent with my former husband in 2008. The relationship lasted a year, and I moved back in with my parents. I've been single since then.
I never went on vacation with girlfriends
Before and after my marriage, I spent every break with the people who raised me. I'm from a traditional Sikh family, and traveling as a unit is often customary.
I never went on vacation with girlfriends, for example. But I didn't feel like I was missing out. I always had fun with my close relatives.
Over the years, we have visited places in the UK, such as North Wales, and flown to Canada and India to stay with our extended family.
My dad, now 76, joined us. Around his mid-50s, he decided he didn't like traveling much and generally preferred to stay at home.
Luckily for me, my mom was more adventurous. She's easygoing and a great travel companion. We've been to cities across Europe, such as Valencia, and further afield, to Las Vegas and Abu Dhabi.
Mom was up for anything. Our most hilarious vacation was in Cyprus. One day, we went on a coach trip and got off at the wrong stop, ending up in a resort town that was party central.
There were all these young people on the beach, half of them naked. But Mom went ahead and enjoyed herself, thinking it was funny.
Unfortunately, we couldn't travel during COVID. I missed it a lot because it broadens your mind. It made me feel a bit trapped in the house.
Then, my mom contracted blood cancer at 72. I'm a freelance writer, but I am now her primary carer. I coordinate her medical treatments and handle all the paperwork.
I decided to step outside of my comfort zone and travel alone
In many Asian families, it often falls on daughters to take responsibility for their parents as they get older. It's a respect thing. I'm happy to help. but it's difficult when you're trying to juggle it with work.
Mom noticed how hard it was. Despite her health issues, she recognized that I needed to spread my wings. "You should travel again, even on your own," she said. "I'll be fine."
I realized I was the main person holding myself back. It was a combination of guilt about leaving my parents and fear of stepping out of my comfort zone. But I knew I was getting older and should embrace new opportunities.
So, two months ago, I decided to take life by the horns and visit Sri Lanka.
I met some great people. We went on a safari, spotted elephants, and toured the hill country. I rode a motorbike, visited a religious site, and saw beautiful waterfalls. I felt daring but perfectly safe. It was good to be in my own company. I gained more confidence as the days went on. I was never anxious or scared because I wasn't with my family.
Still, I was in touch with my parents daily, so they didn't worry about me. My uncles and a few friends who lived nearby checked in on my mom and her procedures.
I now have a bucket list of destinations
Mom and Dad were perfectly OK when I returned. Mom was particularly pleased to hear about my adventures.
The whole experience has left me wanting more. I've drawn up a bucket list of places I want to visit, including Japan, for next year's cherry blossom season.
Meanwhile, I'm turning 44 in November and have decided to celebrate with a trip to Bali. Solo travel has opened up a fascinating new chapter in my life.
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