- If you want to postpone or cancel your wedding, try to do it 60 days before the original date.
- The 60 days gives your guests time to change their plans and you might avoid some vendor payments.
- It's important to be on the same page as a couple and communicate with your guests and vendors.
When do you and your partner need to make a decision about whether or not to change your wedding plans?
Here's my advice as a professional wedding planner:
Mark your calendar for 60 days out — this is usually a solid time to change plans
My ultimate, you-really-need-to-decide deadline is 60 days out from the wedding. I have spent the past two years road testing this advice, and 60 days holds up.
This is because 60 days is close enough to the wedding that we have a pretty good idea of what the world will look like but far enough out from the wedding that guests can still make plans and most vendors aren't asking for final payments yet.
There are two times the 60-day rule might not work
The first is if you have payments due before 60 days. Check your contracts for this information and, when in doubt, ask the vendor in question.
The second is if you can't or don't want to wait until 60 days before your date. I see this feeling of urgency most often among couples who have a lot of people traveling for their wedding and those who have guests who are particularly vocal with questions.
Personally, I think that in nearly all situations those requests are the minority — the vast majority of people involved in your wedding do not need a final decision sooner than 60 days — and thus those situations can be handled on a one-by-one basis. For example, you can tell your uncle who is traveling internationally what the deal is without notifying the rest of your 125 guests and thus signing yourself up to update all 125 guests if/when things change.
That said, I also understand if this idea doesn't fit who you and your partner are. Do what serves you two best.
Use the time leading up to 60 days to make a plan
Often, couples change or delay their wedding plans because of the ongoing coronavirus pandemic.
So, long before your wedding date, you and your partner should discuss the health and safety boundaries of your wedding. To help, I have a template for a COVID-19 safety policy that you can reference yourselves or share with vendors and guests.
The most successful couples return to the policy multiple times leading up to their 60-day out mark so, when the decision day arrives, they are (literally) on the same page about what they want to tell their guests and vendors.
To help facilitate those conversations, I also have templates for communicating with guests and vendors during the pandemic.
Remember: Planning a wedding needs to serve you
Planning a wedding is nearly always optional.
I don't say this to discount the emotional, financial, and physical effort that is wedding planning but to remind you that this process must serve you and your partner. If it stops serving you, stop doing it — at least for a little bit.
The important thing is that you and your partner are communicating with each other with a deadline where you two will share that information with others.