- John Hardin is a 59-year-old living in Florida who started playing drums when he was 14.
- His mother didn't mind because drumming kept John out of trouble through high school.
- He is pleased his sons have also pursued their passions instead of getting in trouble.
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with John Hardin. It has been edited for length and clarity.
As a child, I was considered somewhat of a baseball prodigy. I lived for baseball. But at 11, I was watching the "Brady Bunch" after school, tossing and catching a baseball in my leather glove, when my brother walked in with an album under his arm. When I asked him what it was, he dropped it in my lap. It was a Kiss album.
I'd never listened to much hard rock until that album, but once I heard it, I never picked up a baseball again. Music changed my life and became my everything.
My mom wanted me to be in the armed forces; I wanted to be a rock star
My mother quickly didn't know what had happened to her son. She was a quintessential southern woman. She had no idea about anything related to music.
I remember when I turned 13, still fascinated by music, particularly drums, she mentioned the pride of having a son in the armed forces. I told her I wasn't going into any armed forces. I was going to be a rock star. She couldn't understand what I was saying, but she didn't try to stop me from pursuing my dream.
She bought me a toy drum set, but I tore right through it after a month. Then she got me a junior drum set, which I tried to be careful with so as not to break it too. Eventually, I used bits and pieces from friends to make my own drum set. It was raggedy, but it got the job done.
When my older siblings learned to drive, mom had saved up to buy cars for their birthdays. But for my 14th birthday, she surprised me with a professional drum set. I started crying and told her it was the best gift I had ever been given.
I played the drums constantly
All I did, other than eat, sleep, and go to school, was play the drums. Without a doubt, if I was home, the loud bang could be heard from a mile away. I taught myself everything.
Shortly after, Mom started dating a guy in a semi-professional band. They couldn't find a drummer who could stay out of jail or off drugs. He asked if I could learn a list of classic rock songs to play with them.
I got my first taste of what it was like to get paid for drumming. I was given $35 to play for an afternoon.
Over the next four years, I would go on to play in several bands, both paid and unpaid gigs.
I never got hooked on drugs, alcohol, or criminal activity because I was going to be a rock star drummer. I wouldn't let anything get in the way of my goal. All I wanted to do was drum.
Even when I started playing in bars, no one was ever worried I'd be drinking underage because I didn't want to get drunk — I wanted to be a good drummer.
My mom knew where I was all the time
A friend of my mom's once came to the house and as they drank their coffee and smoked their cigarettes, I was practicing drums.
"How can you stand that?" the friend asked my mom about the racket.
"John has never had a positive role model in his life," my mom replied. "A week ago, a couple of kids knocked on his window and asked if he wanted to go out. The police later picked them up. But if I can hear John playing the drums, I know exactly where he is and exactly what he is doing."
My mom might have had to put up with my drumming for the four years I was in high school, but she never resented it because drumming was what kept me out of trouble through the most formative years of my life.
I went on to either play in bands or DJ for 35 years. When I decided to retire from it, I told my mom. "But it's always been about the music with you," my mom said.
Now I'm a dad, and I know there is so much out there now for youth to get sucked into, and it is very important for these kids to have hobbies that keep them out of trouble.
One of my sons hopes to be an internet billionaire, and the other wants to be a zoologist. I'll encourage both ventures because it'll make them happy and keep them on the right path.