- I never saw myself getting married.
- However, when I got pregnant, my feelings about marriage changed.
- Now, my husband Sam and I have been married for almost 10 years.
I've always been a commitment phobe and was never interested in getting married. In fact, whenever someone would ask my partner Sam and me when we were planning to tie the knot, I'd turn bright red and change the subject. Both of us come from families where our parents are still happily married after 50-plus years, but it just wasn't something that was on my radar or important to me.
Then, in 2014, I unexpectedly got pregnant. When I saw the two lines come up on the pregnancy test, I felt absolutely terrified about what was to come. Having a baby was a lifelong commitment — something I'd always shied away from.
Getting pregnant changed how I felt about commitment
By that point, Sam and I had been together for eight years. One evening, we were sitting on the couch in our 1950s two-bedroom flat when Sam casually asked me whether marriage was something I'd now consider. To my surprise, I said I would. I loved Sam, and I knew he was the person for me. I also wanted to have the same last name as our baby.
A few weeks later, Sam told me to be ready by 5.30 p.m. He was taking me out for dinner. He seemed a little flustered when he arrived home from work, but I didn't put two and two together.
We were driving along the coast in Black Rock, Melbourne, where we were living at the time, when Sam cleared his throat. "Hey, we're a little early for dinner, and there's something I've been wanting to show you," he said. "Someone told me about this place called Poet's Corner, where locals leave poetry. Let's go check it out."
Sam's not really a poetry-reading kind of guy, so at that point, I did begin to feel a bit suspicious. We parked and started walking along the beach trail toward Half Moon Bay lookout, my high heels digging into the sand, the salty wind whipping at my hair.
I could tell Sam was feeling nervous, and suddenly, my heart started to pound faster in my chest. "Here it is," he said. Next to a picnic table overlooking a stormy Port Phillip Bay was a black leather satchel with the word "Poetry" written on it. "Why don't you have a look inside?" he said.
I smiled and opened the satchel, and on the top of the pile was a pink-rimmed envelope with a card inside. I recognized Sam's shaky handwriting straight away. He'd written a poem telling me how much he loved me and had somehow slipped it into the satchel so that it was there waiting for me.
We've now been married almost 10 years
At the very end, it said, "You're the girl of my dreams. Will you be my wife?" When I turned around, Sam was down on one knee, holding a sparkling diamond ring. His eyes shone with tears.
"Yes, I will," I said, bursting into tears and wrapping my arms around him. At that moment, my fears about commitment vanished for good, and all I felt was happiness to have found my special person in this world, the one I would spend the rest of my life with.
Later that evening, we went out for an amazing dinner and called our family and friends to share the happy news. They all joked that it had been a long time coming.
Three months later, we were married at a vineyard on the Gold Coast. I'll never forget waking up the first morning after the wedding and saying, "Good morning, husband." It felt surreal and strange, in a good way.
Getting pregnant changed my headspace about marriage and helped me think of the future differently. I'd worried that marriage might change how Sam and I felt about each other or make the relationship prematurely stale, but the reality was the opposite. Taking those vows solidified our feelings and made us stronger as a couple. The formality of being married did make a difference, and almost 10 years on, we're still going strong.