- Mel Macintyre landed her dream job at a finance company in Edinburgh in her 30s.
- She became burned out, and her corporate lifestyle of "work hard, party hard" made her ill.
- Macintyre left the city and lives on an island in Scotland, where she's more connected to nature.
This as-told-to essay is based on a transcribed conversation with Mel Macintyre, a business and life coach living in Eriskay in the Outer Hebrides, Scotland. It has been edited for length and clarity.
I've been a business coach for 25 years and climbed the corporate career ladder in a typical, ambitious way.
I began my career at HSBC when I was 20 and went on to work with local and central governments and then as a senior leader in financial services.
I was very driven, and in 2011, I joined the Edinburgh-based company Standard Life for what I thought was my dream job: head of learning and development for the UK and Europe, which came with a substantial salary.
On the outside, everything looked perfect. I was ticking all the boxes of the life I thought I wanted.
But on the inside, I was struggling. I had this real, palpable feeling that I needed to do more and make a bigger difference. My work revolved around getting the best out of people, but only to help a company succeed.
I struggled with feeling inauthentic and like I had to put a mask on at work every day. The corporate world didn't match my values, and I felt constrained.
I suffered a breakdown
In 2014, a perfect storm was gathering: I was 36 with chronic IBS and a suspected stomach ulcer; my dad was diagnosed with cancer; and I was struggling with my mental health and depressive anxiety.
On reflection, my coping mechanisms were unhealthy: I was broken from years of a "work hard, play hard" lifestyle. I wasn't eating well or exercising, and I was drinking too much.
The way I was living my life was fundamentally making me ill, but I didn't want to let people down.
I ended up having a breakdown. I'd wake up not knowing how I would get through the day. I was miserable. Something had to give.
One day, I was taking my dad to the hospital to get half a lung removed. I planned to go to work after I dropped him off, but the voice in my head said: "No, give yourself at least a day off." After that pause, things unraveled very quickly.
In the summer of 2014, there were redundancy processes taking place at work. They wanted me to recreate my role, but after a conversation with my manager, we agreed I should leave.
I had one of those car crash moments that led me to walk away from the life that I'd built.
I left my corporate job, gave up my flat, and used my savings to take a year out to travel. I had no plan other than to ask myself: "Who am I, and why am I really here?"
After five months, I came back excited to start my own coaching business and help business leaders who were disillusioned and wanted to find a more sustainable way to succeed.
I invested my savings into starting the business. It was registered in May 2015, and I made it location-independent because I love to travel.
Stepping off the corporate hamster wheel and moving to the Outer Hebrides
Before my dad died, I had bought a house with him on Eriskay, an island where he grew up in the Outer Hebrides in Scotland.
When I left my corporate job, I knew I had Eriskay to return to if needed, but I thought of it as a holiday home. At the time, my partner was running his campervan business and we were living between Ayrshire, where he is from, and Eriskay during the summer months.
After having a baby in 2018, we decided to put our roots down and move permanently to Eriskay. It was a great place to raise our child. Since then, it's been a never-ending project. We're constantly renovating to turn it into our dream house.
In Eriskay, it's so much easier to be "me" as I don't feel like I'm spinning on a hamster wheel.
The population is roughly 130 people, the island has its own breed of pony that lives wild, and there is a single pub. Friends drop off lobster for free when they've caught too much.
Generally, the cost of groceries is higher because they have further to travel. But you spend less money here because there's nothing to spend it on — you don't fritter your money at local coffee shops.
I live more in tune with nature and my personal goals on Eriskay
I feel like modern society has become disconnected from the land because so many of us are in the rat race in the city.
In Eriskay, we go hillwalking, paddleboarding, and kayaking. My partner has even learned how to spearfish. Two minutes from home, we have a beach where my son gets on and off the school bus.
On a beautiful day, we can walk straight onto the sand.
My son is getting a unique upbringing: We don't lock our doors, he does all of his schooling speaking Gaelic, and he's so connected to nature. Eagles live at the back of the house, and owls gather at our windows.
It's not without challenges, such as the weather and transport links.
Sometimes, I return to the mainland to run in-person events, but I do this on my terms and schedule. I enjoy visiting the city for a nice meal at a restaurant, but I know I will never live there again.
My new dream is to run retreats here in Eriskay for other leaders and also local business women. I'm seeking funding from the Scottish Government to create a Hebridean Women's Business Centre.
I get one chance at life, and I don't want to waste it living to somebody else's expectations. You have to ask, "What is it that I really want?" Then, uncover the answer and commit to a plan to make it happen.