- I've worked since I was 15, and my career has always been a huge part of my identity.
- My Gen Z children helped me understand that work doesn't have to be a priority.
- I went to therapy to understand who I am outside my career.
I officially entered the workforce at 15 years old. My first job was a janitorial position on a cleaning crew. I remember the excitement of receiving my first paycheck.
My mother is from Kenya, and I'm a first-generation American. My mom discussed our family's struggles in Kenya and how I needed to start work early to earn the dollars my Kenyan family would do anything to gain.
My mother ingrained in my siblings and me the importance of getting a good job and the idea that work is the key to a successful life.
As I got older, I applied for more "grown-up" jobs. From 15 to 18, I worked for fast-food restaurants and some retail stores. With each job, I got a pay increase. Without realizing it, I was mentally equating the job and pay to how I viewed what it means to be a successful human.
By the time I turned 19, I had started my own business, helping out independent contractors on their delivery routes.
My beliefs about who I was and my measure of accomplishment became dependent on the business's success. Family and friends told everyone they knew about this interesting business I started, reinforcing this belief.
My identity was fully intertwined with my business. When something happened at work, it affected my mood and challenged my identity. Work became my life; it became my identity.
That's until my kids taught me differently.
My Gen Z children entering the workforce shifted my beliefs
I'm a father of five Gen Z kids. As my kids grew older, graduated from high school, and got adult jobs, I noticed a difference in how they viewed their work compared to the beliefs I had grown up with.
I often asked my kids questions about their jobs and thoughts about their futures. I was surprised to find that their responses were much different from mine. They just seemed so detached from their chosen careers.
They've told me they see their jobs as a way to earn money to enjoy life. They don't buy into the belief that you work hard for 50 years just to have enough money to retire and enjoy maybe the last 10 years of your life (if you're lucky).
My Gen Z children have told me they see work for what it is: They work to live, not live to work. They aren't going to dedicate their lives to building someone else's dream. They will use all the sick days and other benefits a company offers and not see it as being a "bad employee" to use what's provided.
Commentators and social media pundits from my generation (and older) often confuse this for laziness. They say Gen Z does not care about their jobs like previous generations.
But my kids helped me see Gen Z as a misunderstood generation.
I'm learning who I am beyond work
I'm 43 years old and questioning my relationship to work for the first time.
My Gen Z children have shifted my beliefs about work, and as a result, I've gotten therapy to help me learn who I am outside my career. Therapy has also helped me see that I'm more than my job and that there's so much more to life than tying my identity to employment.
I sold my business in 2013 and now write (my first love) and consult. I work fewer hours, and my business allows me to travel globally and consult corporations. When someone asks me what I do nowadays, I tell them I enjoy life professionally.
My Gen Z children in the workforce have taught me lessons about work that my generation didn't. I now see work as a way to build financial independence so that someday, work will become "optional" for me.
My goal is to have enough money saved and invested to spend my time discovering everything I missed growing up with work as a priority.
Kimanzi Constable is a freelance writer and journalist based globally as a digital nomad. Connect on LinkedIn.