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- If you're lacking confidence in bed, try starting with a simple position like missionary.
- Reverse cowgirl and doggy style can be great for people who are self-conscious of their belly area.
- For a little more adventure without going too wild, try the leapfrog or the lotus position.
- Visit Insider's Health Reference library for more advice.
If you feel self-conscious during sex, you're not alone. Sex can bring up lots of insecurities – about body image, sexual inexperience, and more.
In fact, one survey found that 82% of men and 91% of women don't always feel confident about their bodies when having sex, and 86% of men and 89% of women don't always feel confident in their sexual ability.
It's important to note that while the sex positions listed below are ones that don't require a ton of sexual prowess and where you can control how much of your body is exposed, learning to have a positive body image can boost your mental health.
Understand that comparing yourself to people you see on social media can lead to unhealthy, debilitating habits like eating disorders. Therefore, if you're reading this because you're ashamed of how your body looks, it's important to take steps to love yourself.
In the meantime, as you are building your confidence and self-respect, you can try out some of the following sex positions for some variety and excitement.
1. Missionary
Missionary is a tried and true sex position. Your bodies will be right up against each other and you'll be face to face, meaning your partner won't be seeing too much of your body, says Melinda DeSeta, LMHC, certified sex therapist at Insight Counseling Center Miami.
Plus, this position is super simple, making it a great choice if you're not confident in your sexual abilities.
To get into missionary, follow these steps:
- The partner being penetrated lies flat on their back.
- The penetrating partner gets on top, lying directly on top of their partner, and enters.
2. Reverse cowgirl
If you're the partner being penetrated and you're self-conscious of your belly or breasts, being on top can feel intimidating. Instead of traditional cowgirl, DeSeta suggests trying reverse cowgirl.
To get into reverse cowgirl, follow these steps:
1. The penetrating partner lies flat on their back.
- The partner being penetrated straddles their partner over their pelvis region, facing away from their partner.
3. Doggy style
Doggy is another tried and true position that's simple and easy to do, even for those who are sexually inexperienced, says Ditza Katz, PT, PhD, clinical sexologist at the Women's Therapy Center.
Plus, neither partner's body will be on full display.
To get into doggy style, follow these steps:
- The partner being penetrated gets on all fours. If it's more comfortable, they can then lower down onto their elbows.
- The penetrating partner kneels behind their partner and enters.
4. Leapfrog
The leapfrog is a doggy style variation that may allow you to focus more on pleasure, rather than stewing about how your body looks to your partner.
The altered shape of leapfrog can feel a bit more sexually adventurous than doggy (while still being simple), so you can boost your sexual self-esteem.
To get into leapfrog, follow these steps:
- The partner being penetrated gets on all fours and then stretches their arms out in front of them, so their chest is down towards the bed and they are resting their head down on the bed or a pillow.
- The penetrating partner kneels behind their partner and enters.
5. Spooning
For another position where neither partner's body is too exposed, Katz recommends a side by side spooning position.
To get in this position, follow these steps:
- Both partners lie on the same side so they are spooning, flush against each other.
- The penetrating partner enters from behind (they may need to slide down a bit or adjust their positioning so the pelvises will be aligned for penetration).
6. Lotus
The lotus is another position where your partner won't see too much of your body (and vice versa), says DeSeta.
It's also simple to do, but since you'll be sitting upright, you might feel a little bit more adventurous than you would in a position like missionary, which can help improve your sexual confidence. To get in this position, follow these steps:
- The penetrating partner sits down with their legs crossed.
- The partner being penetrated straddles and sits on their partner's lap, wrapping their legs around them.
- Maneuver your bodies so you're aligned for penetration.
Insider's takeaway
Don't let your lack of confidence hold you back from having, and more importantly, enjoying sex. You deserve to feel pleasure and have fun in bed.
Try out these positions and see what works best for you and makes you feel the most confident.